The Commissioner is sadden by the sudden lack of civility
experienced on the Go Zone blog recently. As much as he would like to think
that it is mostly in jest, the seriousness of the allegations, assaults on privacy, trampling of rights,
tyranny, fascist…it goes on and on.
He cannot help but think the turning points of all this can
be traced back to the secret meeting at Uncanoonic last summer. Right under the
nose of the Commissioner’s summer residence, league members met at a lake house
there, their agenda opaque to those members abandoned by the conspirators. What
did they discuss? No one knows, no one is telling. What did they decide? A
mystery of all.
They cannot put forth that the Commissioner was unavailable,
for his residence is a scant 40 minutes away, and, as the Commissioner has
taken to wearing a phone at all times, his availability is without question,
especially to members who were formerly in good standing with him.
To conspire, is to
literally breathe the same air, as
people do who gather in secret, in the dark and sit in a circle to better keep
their voices muffled.
Since then, the Commissioner has been eaten up with sadness
that such former friends have become such bitter enemies. He can only surmise
that they are behind the many attacks upon the Commissioner, each and all
ridiculous and unimaginable.
He has tried to look after the league’s business with good
humor and sound judgment, but at every turn is attacked and vilified. He does
not know who was there, or how deeply their hatred goes, for secret meetings do
not provide such transparencies. But he does know they are out there, waiting
and plotting and conniving and drooling their slobber on every inch of the
league, on every decision and initiative.
Proof, you say? The Commissioner has presided over the
complete redesign of the Picks Chart, infusing standard image sizes and
colorful backgrounds. Praise? No, just complaints that it is too small.
He has instituted a survey system for picks which
standardize the picks and keep them private until all are in, and requiring an
entire new process to be completed by the league office. Praise? Hardly, rather
he has been attacked for its very creation, of taking away members’ freedoms,
of usurping control of the league.
Both of these achievements have been met with cries of
horror, that they are proof the Commissioner is out of control, that he is a
fascist interloper.
All is shrouded in mystery, however the Commissioner has
been able to piece together some salient information. Kirk and Diane are often
seen at Uncanoonic in the summer, Kevin resides close by for part of the year.
Patrick and Ed are a stone’s throw away all year round. Luke and Marc, the
Commissioner’s sons and until now unassailably his backers, are in the vicinity
as well. Wayne is known to spend time in New Hampshire at certain times, both
Sean and Kate were born there. Brandy seems closely allied with Sean and may be
sympathetic to his jaundiced views.
In spite of all this, the Commissioner valiantly soldiers
on, making key judgments for the league and hoping the conspirators will see
the error of their ways and pledge allegiance to the Commissioner one day soon.
Until then, he humbly works on, putting the league first and
foremost into his every waning breath. He will continue on until his enemies
rend him asunder.
