Inaccuracies, Distortions and Paranoia from Manchester, Sanford

The Commissioner is disappointed with the inaccuracies flowing from Manchester and Sanford. 

Firstly, there is no "unwarranted" surveillance on league members,  even those threatening succession. Only warranted surveillance is tolerated to save the league from terrorists, atheists and scientists.
 
Secondly, the Commissioner did not appoint himself President for Life, the SAC scheduled a vote to bestow that honor. 

Thirdly, no drones are circling Manchester as I have upon good authority that no liberal thought has been detected there for years.

And fourthly, the Commissioner was clear that no succession shall be accepted before a beheading reconciliation is initiated.

As to Sanford's acceptance of the President for Life designation, Brandy must have misinterpreted the commissioners welcoming message. He identified himself as a potential President for Life, rather than inviting her for that august recognition. That, of course, is the part of the SAC. 

And, contrary to common thought, it had nothing to do with heinous treasonous threats from Omaha, Naples, Sanford and Manchester. It was more that Winter is indeed Coming and the league will need bloodthirsty seasoned leadership and daggers to the heart wisdom.

And, despite any stupid unfortunate misunderstanding with Brandy, it is disgusting gratifying to know that it has been she all along who has been corresponding as Sean. The Commissioner values vengeance clarity highly.