Wow, where to begin?
Being left-handed is being handicapped? Heh, tell that to the Splendid Splinter, Phil Michelson, Whitey Ford, Sandy Kofax, Ken Stabler, (well, he was chemically handicapped) Big Papi. The list goes on and on.
Being left-handed is to be celebrated. We are set apart (and considerably above) the rest!
It's clear that my three cousins didn't like my summer visits. I can't blame them. I wouldn't be thrilled to take the beatings I administered in the baseball games at Mount Base or on the porch overlooking the lake. Saints Millie and Chappie looked forward to my visits, though. Clearly, it was the only time Ed, Mike and the brat ever got their asses spanked.
Mike's continuous allegations that I didn't actually spin the arrow at all flies in the face of reality. Like a good golf swing, it must be repeated over and over again in order to attain perfection and achieve the desired result. Failure to spin correctly results in failure...er, sorry guys, the last thing I want to do is rub in it. Your fascination with watching your shit swirl clockwise on its way down the toilet places you in a box where you think everything moves clockwise. Think outside the box.
To wit: A right-hander swinging a bat moves it counter-clockwise, while the left-hander's rotation would be - TAA DAA - clockwise. This is true not just in this hemisphere, but throughout this world!
I may forget why I turned on the computer 10 minutes ago, but I have a vivid memory of my beloved Aunt Millie and Uncle Chappie. I remember every work they ever spoke to me. They are locked in the vault. Their words of wisdom have guided me throughout my life. But I loved them for more than their wisdom. What I respected most was their character, unconditional love, sense of fair play and above all, their honesty.
When Uncle Chappie said Red hit a home run, he undoubtedly hit a home run.
When Uncle Chappie reviewed my "spin" and declared it not only legal, but like Teddy Ballgame's swing, a thing of beauty, my "spin" was both legal and athletically perfect.
You may besmirch his name and reputation because, well, you have no honor.
And lastly, your "IT" department is manned by a bunch of slugs. To save money and eliminate benefits, you cheap bastard, you hired contractors who care nothing about quality service. You get what you pay for - nothing. As Kris Kristopherson wrote: nothing ain't worth nothing, but it's free.
Omaha
(The Undefeated)
