Sheesh.  I don't know where to start.  After struggling through all the posts I've missed these past couple of weeks, my only response is to plead with all of you:  Please, please, climb down from the grassy knoll.

All this conspiracy talk has given me a headache.  My new hearing aids have short-circuited, lost their calibration, and now I hear all kinds of whistles, cracklings and rattles.  I had to make an appointment for this coming Wednesday to have them re-calibrated to stop all the noise in my head.  The Commish has started all this conspiracy talk to divert our attention from his devious power grab.

I mean, common now, he "talked" to Ed and has him on his side?  Shit the greatest comedy writers in history couldn't come up with a funnier line then that.  He "talked" to Ed, chased me into exile, and has somehow convinced Kirk that he is a man of honor.

Hey Kirk, THE EMPEROR WEARS NO CLOTHES!

Let's start with my computer failure.  Sadly, it suffered a direct radio signal hit from the Commish's drone, reported as a UFO by several of my neighbors.  Several teams of Omaha's finest tried in vain to shoot it down, and before they could summon help from the Strategic Air Command Headquarters at Offutt Air Force Base in the suburb of Bellevue, it was too late.  Jets were scrambled and buzzed the house for three hours in vain.  There were reports it quietly landed at the old, abandoned north Omaha Air Guard base, quickly loaded into a semi-trailer and hauled away.  The cops raced from my far west Omaha location to the far north side in vain, as the culprits clearly crossed the nearby Missouri River into Iowa, where they disappeared into the field of dreams.

When at last my new computer arrived, I discovered our esteemed Commish had removed the "G" and kicked me out of the O-Zone.  It took two days of negotiating, pleading and finally, bribing the bastard for re-entry.  He did, however, say "thank you" for the tidy sum he thinks he will be receiving in the mail.