Tuesday, October 9, 2012

The Commissioner's Observations—Week 5

It was a good week for the league, with many members enjoying high scores. Unfortunately, the week saw two members pick against the Patriots.

1. A New Leader. Kirk had a sterling 11-3 recording, catapulting him into sole possession of first place with 53 points. Also with an 11-3 record was the Commish, followed by 10-4 weeks from Patrick, Luke and Kevin.  Next at 9-5 were Cuz Wayne, Diane, Marc, JoJo, and Sean and Kyle. Brandy and Ryan and Kate had 8-6 weeks, and Scott was 8-5. The Ghost, in proof of cosmic justice, was 7-7. Connecticut Kirk is beginning to pull away from pack, and the Commissioner has been asked to look into his qualifications. It seems no one has seen his birth certificate and the suspicion is that he could be participating unlawfully. While awaiting proof of his authenticity, the Commissioner and the Senior Advisory Council plan on pursuing a Member ID ruling that will disqualify those who are corrupting the purity of the league.

2. More Proof of Cosmic Justice. Prominent on the GoZone is member Kevin, 2010's overall champion. His often toxic comments on everyone and everything included this week a criticism of the Commissioner's son, Lucas. He said Luke had "no clue." Well, this week, No Clue tied Kevin at 10-4, begging the question of just how clueless Luke was and Kevin is. If fact, they had almost identical picks.

3. Pick of the Week. The Commish and son Luke both picked the Dolphins over the Bengals.

4. Patriot Haters. It has long been an unwritten rule of the GoZone that the Patriots are to be everyone's pick. Last year, in a fit of pique and foolishness, the Ghost picked against them multiple times. Of course, he usually lost. But now his poor example has an accomplice. Brandy and Ryan picked against the Patriots as well. It is a sad day for the GoZone when two of its founding members abandoned the Pats with such foolhardy picks. Many League members have send the Commissioner emails and letters asking that some sort of penalty be assessed. While the Commissioner's heart goes out to loyal and trustworthy members, he reminds all that, technically, this is not a punishable offense, although some have suggested that the Senior Advisory Council meet to discuss this matter. For the time being, the Ghost and Brandy and Ryan will go unsanctioned by the league, but we take solace in the fact that they will have to live in ignominy for their actions.

5. Upset of the Week. Aside for the distressed caused by some league members by Patriot haters, the official upset of the week was the Colts over the Pack. No one saw that one coming.