For the second straight week, I can certify that the Commish's (Week 8) Stats are correct.
Amazing what he can do under strict supervision and guidance.
Omaha
GO Zone Auditor & Director of Quality Control
Tuesday, October 30, 2018
Sunday, October 28, 2018
Saturday, October 27, 2018
EARLY START
A gentle reminder to those of you who insist on getting your picks in within seconds of kickoff (Deland, Ghost, 'Fro, Sanford, Peterborough, etc) : the eagles play the jags in London at 9:30 am.
If your picks are not in by then, by rule you will be assigned the home team on all games.
If your picks are not in by then, by rule you will be assigned the home team on all games.
Thursday, October 25, 2018
Tuesday, October 23, 2018
Careful
Caution to all League members. Yes, Omaha was found shortly after midnight last night slumped over his yahoo calculator, eyes closed and a pencil in his ear. Thankfully it was No. 2 lead and very dull. The table was littered with bits of used eraser material. There was a tattered piece of paper Karen had picked up from the floor and placed next to the snoring Omaha. It read “Audit Complete”.
Quality Uncontrol
Deland
Quality Uncontrol
Deland
Week 7 audit
I certify the Commissioner's Office statistics for week 7.
It appears my watchful eyes have pressured the Commish to take more care in calculating and publishing weekly results.
Omaha
GO Zone Auditor
It appears my watchful eyes have pressured the Commish to take more care in calculating and publishing weekly results.
Omaha
GO Zone Auditor
Sunday, October 21, 2018
Early NFL Game
League members who have not yet completed their picks are encouraged to text their choice of Titans or Chargers because their London game starts at 9:30. After that, they will be assigned the home team, as per league rules.
The Commish
The Commish
Saturday, October 20, 2018
It's Sad. It Really Is.
Omahahahaha's bizarre ramblings don't prove his innocence of the Deland charge, they merely elevate the minutia and ignore substantive facts. And his ramblings about Peg and the Giants and whatever else he is hallucinating about is just a diversion. The Giants were never mentioned in the report of Peg's request to the league office.
And accusing the Commish of drunkenness because he had a few typos. How moronic and juvenile is that?
Omahahahahaha obviously was unhinged by Nebraska's win today. He should limit his attention to one thing a day.
And accusing the Commish of drunkenness because he had a few typos. How moronic and juvenile is that?
Omahahahahaha obviously was unhinged by Nebraska's win today. He should limit his attention to one thing a day.
One lies and the other swears to it
I hardly know where to begin, but I'll start by pointing out words from our Commish as evidence he doesn't know what he's talking about.
1. Commish: "In an text to the league office, Deland insists...Omaha changed my pick which doing his weekly audit."
Which one is drunk here, Deland or the Commish?
2. "Guido Gonzalez has opened an investigation into the affair. He reports that a cursory look at Omaha's background reveals his deep involvement in a major railroads (no ' so must be plural, how many major railroads, Commish?) computer information system. Omaha admits to creating the entire system and running it in its infancy."
This is really hilarious. Guido couldn't investigate whether he's wearing shoes or not.
Omaha created and ran an entire computer information system??? I wish, I would have had a much higher salary.
This, of course, is a figment of the Commish's imagination. My grandkids had to show me how to navigate my I-Phone.
3. I have added exposure to the Survey Monkey site? My exposure is identical to every other GO Zone member. Omaha has the requisite computer skills to destabilize the league site? Heh, I only wish I had the skills to stabilize our Commish and his alter-ego. Even Dr. Phil couldn't pull off that miracle.
4. I called the Comish on Thursday to report I made an error in Jude the Prude's Week 6 audit. The Commish's comment concerning Nashua's picks in Week 6 (involving the Steelers - incorrectly - in his rambling) is too confusing and time-consuming to address now. I am seriously concerned about the Commish's mental state.
Omaha
1. Commish: "In an text to the league office, Deland insists...Omaha changed my pick which doing his weekly audit."
Which one is drunk here, Deland or the Commish?
2. "Guido Gonzalez has opened an investigation into the affair. He reports that a cursory look at Omaha's background reveals his deep involvement in a major railroads (no ' so must be plural, how many major railroads, Commish?) computer information system. Omaha admits to creating the entire system and running it in its infancy."
This is really hilarious. Guido couldn't investigate whether he's wearing shoes or not.
Omaha created and ran an entire computer information system??? I wish, I would have had a much higher salary.
This, of course, is a figment of the Commish's imagination. My grandkids had to show me how to navigate my I-Phone.
3. I have added exposure to the Survey Monkey site? My exposure is identical to every other GO Zone member. Omaha has the requisite computer skills to destabilize the league site? Heh, I only wish I had the skills to stabilize our Commish and his alter-ego. Even Dr. Phil couldn't pull off that miracle.
4. I called the Comish on Thursday to report I made an error in Jude the Prude's Week 6 audit. The Commish's comment concerning Nashua's picks in Week 6 (involving the Steelers - incorrectly - in his rambling) is too confusing and time-consuming to address now. I am seriously concerned about the Commish's mental state.
Omaha
Deland Accuses Omaha of Treason
In an text to the league office, Deland insists that he and the Boss picked the Broncos over the Cardinals, but that someone changed their picks. Specifically, Deland suggests that "Omaha changed my pick which doing his weekly audit."
The league office takes these kinds of accusations very seriously. The integrity of the choosing of picks is key to the faith league members have in the GoZone.
Guido Gonzales has opened an investigation into the affair. He reports that a cursory look at Omaha's background reveals his deep involvement in a major railroads computer information system. Omaha admits to creating the entire system and running it in its infancy.
With the added exposure Omaha has to the Survey Monkey site, Guido suggests that Omaha may have the requisite computer skills to achieve his goal of destabilizing the league site. He notes Omaha's attempts to infiltrate the Blogger site of the GoZone last year with nefarious intent.
The league office perhaps naively encouraged Omaha's role of points auditor, hoping that such a position would strengthen league members faith in the GoZone. But his first two "corrections"— first giving his sister Jude the Prude extra points and secondly, questioning the veracity of Nashua's point change from last week which would have benefited his beloved Big Red— lead one to believe that perhaps he has a conflict of interests himself.
Guido will continue his investigation, but he warns that this may be above his level of computer expertise, and we may need to bring in a forensic computer expert which would cause a raise in dues this year.
We will keep the league members informed about the investigation.
The league office takes these kinds of accusations very seriously. The integrity of the choosing of picks is key to the faith league members have in the GoZone.
Guido Gonzales has opened an investigation into the affair. He reports that a cursory look at Omaha's background reveals his deep involvement in a major railroads computer information system. Omaha admits to creating the entire system and running it in its infancy.
With the added exposure Omaha has to the Survey Monkey site, Guido suggests that Omaha may have the requisite computer skills to achieve his goal of destabilizing the league site. He notes Omaha's attempts to infiltrate the Blogger site of the GoZone last year with nefarious intent.
The league office perhaps naively encouraged Omaha's role of points auditor, hoping that such a position would strengthen league members faith in the GoZone. But his first two "corrections"— first giving his sister Jude the Prude extra points and secondly, questioning the veracity of Nashua's point change from last week which would have benefited his beloved Big Red— lead one to believe that perhaps he has a conflict of interests himself.
Guido will continue his investigation, but he warns that this may be above his level of computer expertise, and we may need to bring in a forensic computer expert which would cause a raise in dues this year.
We will keep the league members informed about the investigation.
Thursday, October 18, 2018
Observations for Week 6
1. The King is Back (Sort OF). Patrick took the honor of Winner of the Week. His score of 12-3 edged out Wayne, Peg, Kev, Amy and Ryan's 11-4.
2. The Reverse Pick of the Week. There was no POW last week, but the RPOW goes to Diane who picked the Cards over the Vikes. But Diane also often gets the POW based upon her
3. Official Recount. Peg got in touch with the league office and noted that she did not pick the Browns over the Chargers. A quick peek at her picks chart proved her records to be accurate, and her record improved to 11-4 for a 12 point week, putting her in sole possession of first place.
4. Big Red Falters. Karen could have matched Peg's week and stayed tied with her but she picked the Chiefs over the Pats. We are not sure what makes her so contrary toward our beloved Pats, but it is her point to squander as she sees fit. Many Patriot haters succumb to their diseased perception of the Pats. We wish her and her therapists the best.
5. Interesting Picks. Guido suspiciously stated that Luke and Lindsey had the exact same picks. We realize that spouses often make very similar picks (see Kev and Jo), but Guido persisted. So we authorized an investigation into the matter. We went into it assuming Luke copied Lindsey, she having a stellar pricking history and some members felt she was heavily influencing Luke's picks the year he swept the Chappie and Millie. But Luke submited his picks 51 minutes before Lindsey. But, if Lindsey were borrowing from Luke, why did it take Luke only 4:09 to complete his picks and Lindsey 37:11? It is all very confusing, especially factoring in that they used the same computer to complete the survey.
6. Dues are Due. Despite some league members saying their dues are on the way, the usual suspects are still delinquent.
2017 Dues
Paid:
|
Unpaid:
|
Ed
|
Wayne
|
Kev
|
Karen
|
Jo
|
Kirk
|
Patrick
|
Diane
|
Amy
|
Sean
|
Ryan
| |
Nick
| |
Marcus
| |
Lucas
| |
Judy
Peg Mike |
Audit of the Audit
If one is to be the self-appointed voice of accuracy in the Go-Zone blog, it would be helpful if one were accurate. Unfortunately, Omahahahahahahaha seems to have miscounted sister Jude's score.
I told Guido to do a full investigation and he came back with disturbing news. Apparently our auditor is making misleading and erroneous statements about his own sister's record, in her favor!
Guido went back to her picks on the monkey, verified that they were accurate, and then recounted her picks. She picked the Giants, the Bucs, the Bengals, the Browns, the Raiders, the Panthers, the Jags, and the Titans. Those were all losers last week and their are 8 of them. There were 15 games last week, so her record for the week was 7-8, as I depicted on the stats chart. I also gave her a point for picking the Packers on Monday night, for a total of 8 points for the week.
We appreciate Omahahahaha's auditing, but only when it is accurate. The two minutes it took me to straighten out this mess could have been better spent.
Wednesday, October 17, 2018
Tuesday, October 16, 2018
Week 6 Audit
The Commish's one-week accuracy streak has, alas, come to an end.
Once again, he has messed up Judy's tally.
The Commish wrongly posted she had a 7-8 record in Week 6 and 8 points for the week.
WRONG!
Her Week 6 record was 8-7, plus 1 bonus point, giving her 9 points for the week.
Her correct totals should be: Week Record 8-7
Bonus Points 1
Week's Points 9
Previous Points 56
Total Points 65
You're welcome, Sis...
Once again, he has messed up Judy's tally.
The Commish wrongly posted she had a 7-8 record in Week 6 and 8 points for the week.
WRONG!
Her Week 6 record was 8-7, plus 1 bonus point, giving her 9 points for the week.
Her correct totals should be: Week Record 8-7
Bonus Points 1
Week's Points 9
Previous Points 56
Total Points 65
You're welcome, Sis...
Sunday, October 14, 2018
Friday, October 12, 2018
Thursday, October 11, 2018
Week 5 Observations
1. Winner of the Week. Kirk awoke this week to a 13-2 mastery of the picks. Granby won virtually every upset of the board. His great week thrust him up amongst the leaders.
2. A Distaff Ascendancy. The ladies of the GoZone, that should be on a T-Shirt, are doing very well this year. Peg is tied with Karen at 67, Judy is right behind with 56, and no one else of any substance is anywhere near them. Party on ladies, and enjoy the ride.
3. Reverse Pick of the Week. There was no POW, but Luke pulled done the reverse pick by picking the Dolphins to win at the Browns.
4. Teams Kind to Us. The Pats, the Panthers, the Bengals, the Rams and the Saints were very kind to us this week. All have been strong bets all year.
5. Dues are Due. Here is the update on dues compliance so far:
2017 Dues
Paid:
|
Unpaid:
|
Ed
|
Wayne
|
Kev
|
Karen
|
Jo
|
Kirk
|
Patrick
|
Diane
|
Amy
|
Sean
|
Ryan
| |
Nick
| |
Marcus
| |
Lucas
| |
Judy
|
Tuesday, October 9, 2018
It's a miracle!
For the first time since I began auditing the Commish's weekly results/standings a year ago, I have found no errors and can certify his Week 5 results as correct!
I can hardly believe it!
It's unfortunate I didn't have the auditor's position from the beginning of the GO Zone.
There's no telling how many annual award winners actually won said awards, if any.
Unfortunately, the Commish's clumsiness and reckless accounting has tainted previous years' results.
Shameful...
Omaha
I can hardly believe it!
It's unfortunate I didn't have the auditor's position from the beginning of the GO Zone.
There's no telling how many annual award winners actually won said awards, if any.
Unfortunately, the Commish's clumsiness and reckless accounting has tainted previous years' results.
Shameful...
Omaha
Sunday, October 7, 2018
2018 Dues, Deland and Omaha
As per the request from Omaha, the dues for this year will be accepted by the league office, now successfully relocated to its winter accommadations in Fort Myers, FL. The dues remain a bargain at $10 for a single member or $25 for a couple. People delinquent on their dues will be named on the Coo]mmission's notes for each week, starting next week. Any comments and or concerns should be posted to Omaha on this blog.
The disagreement between Deland and Omaha is disheartening, but highly expected. Bad blood has been flowing there for years. Deland's rude claim that Omaha may not have "full access" to the internet is shocking. Many people report that he indeed does have full access, albeit through a gasoline powered modem he keeps in a shed out back so his house "won't get infected." He often times loses internet access when his modem runs out of gas because he forgot to fill "the darn contraption". One would be worried about Omaha's mental health as he spouts all these conspiracies involving Google, Amazon, Yahoo and the District of Columbia not really existing if he hadn't been the same when he was 18.
As for Deland, he should start copying Jo's picks before it is too late. Of course he is still in frigid NH, so maybe his brain is partly frozen most if the time.
The disagreement between Deland and Omaha is disheartening, but highly expected. Bad blood has been flowing there for years. Deland's rude claim that Omaha may not have "full access" to the internet is shocking. Many people report that he indeed does have full access, albeit through a gasoline powered modem he keeps in a shed out back so his house "won't get infected." He often times loses internet access when his modem runs out of gas because he forgot to fill "the darn contraption". One would be worried about Omaha's mental health as he spouts all these conspiracies involving Google, Amazon, Yahoo and the District of Columbia not really existing if he hadn't been the same when he was 18.
As for Deland, he should start copying Jo's picks before it is too late. Of course he is still in frigid NH, so maybe his brain is partly frozen most if the time.
Friday, October 5, 2018
Go-Zone Baggage
As much as some owners attempt to keep the league above the swill that abounds around the league office, the same rhetoric comes out of Omaha day after day. I have been told he has disc full of complaints that he plays to himself daily as some sort of twisted therapy. Again, staying above all that , we are stuck with Guido for at least five more years and a calculator-less Commish indefinitely. Yes, the hard question is do we let the Commish continue to delegate the workload? First indication is a hearty no as there seems to be a frequency problem between the office and Nebraska. It must be that Nebraska has not accepted “full internet access” yet. Further investigation has found that Omaha’s salary is four times greater than the minimum wage in that state. Please no more talk of money as it will only propel the Commish to ask for the 2020-21 season dues in advance!
Staying above the shit(SATS)
Best to all
Deland
Staying above the shit(SATS)
Best to all
Deland
Thursday, October 4, 2018
Tuesday, October 2, 2018
Audit
I hereby certify the Commish's Week 4 stats as correct.
Note: When the Commish screws up, as he did last week on two players, instead of posting a corrected stats sheet for that week, he just carries the errors over until the following week, then makes an invisible adjustment for his previous errors.
This makes it necessary for me to keep a running tally of his numerous errors, so that I, too, can make the necessary invisible adjustments.
I need a salary increase...
Omaha
Note: When the Commish screws up, as he did last week on two players, instead of posting a corrected stats sheet for that week, he just carries the errors over until the following week, then makes an invisible adjustment for his previous errors.
This makes it necessary for me to keep a running tally of his numerous errors, so that I, too, can make the necessary invisible adjustments.
I need a salary increase...
Omaha
Monday, October 1, 2018
New Investigation Completed
Aside from his dues rant, Omaha also accused the Commish of misrepresenting Nick's Monday Night pick. As all members know, it is a cardinal rule that their picks are never changed, for any reason. Therefore when we saw that Nick picked the Seahawks twice last week, I assigned Guido Gonzales to investigate the incident.
Guido informs me that Nick apologized profusely for his mistake and promised it would never happen again. Guido said he also praised the Commish's intelligence, integrity and good looks.
We thank Guido for his quick action and Nick for his honesty.
The Commish
Winner of the Millie and Chappie, 2017
Omaha Insisting on Dues Change
In one of his more disorienting calls, Omaha has informed the league office that he is demanding a change in the way the Commish collects the dues. In many phone calls, the Commish has tried to explain to Omaha that the dies paid in the summer are for the previous year. The trophies are awarded each summer and that is when the dues are collected to pay for them, from the previous year.
This year, the problem was increased when the Commish waited until September before calling for the dues for last year. The reason was that the trophies have not been ordered yet and money was not needed. The trophies in the pictures of the Awards Ceremony were Ed's, and brought them so some trophies could be shown by the Commish. The Commish now sees that pushing back the call for dies overly challenged some of the weaker minds in the league and has caused severe and bitter reactions.
Despite long and painful explanations by the Commish, Omaha continues to think that the dues paid are for the upcoming season. As few members ever bother to paid their dues, the distinction seemed all but mute until recently. This year, Marc and Luke have paid for this season and the seven past seasons. The Commish was floored when both his sons offered the back payments as support for the league and respect for the Commish, especially considering the ignominy of their previous positions.
Also current with their dies are Lindsay, Amy, Ryan, Nick, Peg, Mike and Judy.
So, the upshot of all this is that the Commish will be calling for the 2018 dues shortly, certainly before Jan 1, 2019. Any call at that point will completely befuddle Omaha and send hm into paralaxisms of anguish and madness.
The Commish
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)