(AP) Nashua, NH The Commissioner of the Go Zone Football League was attacked at his desk on Aug 17. According to a league spokesman, the Commish was at his desk despite doctor's warnings to stay in bed as he recuperated from heart surgery.
The spokesman added that the Commish was taking a nap at his desk when a red-faced, white-haired villain broke the door to his office and proceed to "shake and smack the commish around quite a bit." IT Director Guido Gonzales said he heard someone shouting "Wake up! Wake up! Wake up ya slop, football season is around the corner and there's work to be done!"
Gonzales said the Commish was too dazed to recognize the degenerate who did this, and by the time he got to the Commish's office, "the vile scum was gone." However, Gonzales said he thought he recognized the voice. "It sounded a lot like the mumbling wreck of humanity Omaha. I can't be sure, but he is low enough to attack a sick man trying to recuperate from a life threatening operation."
Police said they had no clues mainly because Gonzales has also accused the Duke of Deland, the Ghost, the King of the North and Cali of having plenty of motive for injuring his boss. "They hate him and would do anything to destroy him," Gonzales concluded.
