Will all you Nervous Nancies please settle down. Really, what has got your panties in a twist? The fact that the weekly picks chart came out exactly on time? Oh, boo hoo hoo.
I have to tell you, I am straight from rehab, and it doesn't feel good. I can't, and won't, take much of your crying and drama queening before I quit and take the GoZone with me. Let's see how you all do without me. Hah! The only thing Deland and Omaha can do well is complain and fret. "Oh no, it's Monday and there is no picks list. Oh no, I may have to kill myself." Well I say go ahead. No one would miss you anyway. The damn list doesn't come out until Tuesday, you numbskulls.
It has been a rough summer, and if it wasn't for our saintly Leader, the Commish, I would still be in rehab and you all would be weeping in your beer trying to figure out how on earth you will be able to place your picks. Well, guess what ladies, this is my last rodeo. That's right. I am leaving after this season and you will have to find another loser and sucker to make up your precious picks list, because I won't and the Commish can't.
Now, just so there is no bellyaching and cramps from you sad excuses of a league, let it be known that picks are due 1 hour before game time. That's right, so stop crying and get the picks in because I have a busy schedule and can't wait all day for you gals to make your picks.
Deland, I hope your next pedicure doesn't make you cry again. Omaha, I assume Big Red is making you get enough sleep. The next time you see me, you better run. You have stabbed the Commish in the back one time too many.
