I have completed my week 3 audit and pronounce the Commish's stats correct.
Amazing...
Omaha
VP Quality Control
CEO Auditing Department
Wednesday, September 30, 2020
Tuesday, September 29, 2020
Sunday, September 27, 2020
Thursday, September 24, 2020
Tuesday, September 22, 2020
Scary
Well, two weeks in and The Commish For Life has bashed more owners than Trump has medical science! That is going some! Patriot-haters seem to abound this week. How quickly they discard the team of the century. This will be remembered indeed. Blatant disregard of league rules has not ever been so vivid! The Commish has turned a blind eye toward delinquent owners. Guido is a mush ball. Quite sure Gracie is running the show down there! Omaha’s detailed report is the only shining light going into week 3.
Dialed in,
Deland
Weeks 1 & 2 Audit
I hereby certify that weeks 1 & 2 standings are correct!.
Wow!
A 2-week accuracy streak - eclipsing the Commish's previous 1-week record!
Way to go Commish, keep up the good work.
Omaha
VP Quality Control & CEO Auditing Dept.
Week 2 Observations
1. Monday Night Massacre! Much to the chagrin of almost all league members, the Raiders upended the Saints on MNF. It was particularly bad for Karen and Ed who missed their chance for an undefeated week.
2. Marcus Wins POW. The 'Fro was the only member of the league to pick theRaiders. What did he know and when did he know it?
3. The Reverse POW. This award goes to Peg for picking the Jags over the Titans and Lindsey for picking the Broncos over the Steelers.
4. Late to the Party. Marc was the official winner, sending in his picks over an hour after the deadline, but Judy was close when she changed her pick on the Pats/Seahawks at 3:30 in the afternoon.
5.Guido Not Happy. Needless to say, Guido was irate that people were treating the Commish so rudely. "Omaha them," he said, "They should be tarred, feathered, drawn and quartered and also kicked out of the league." Of course, Guido has had a couple of rough months, but he still should be more respectful to league members.
Sunday, September 20, 2020
Saturday, September 19, 2020
Thursday, September 17, 2020
Tuesday, September 15, 2020
Observations
1. Ten is the Magic Number. Six league members received 10 wins for week 1. Game one is notoriously tricky to judge. New teams, new coaches, new key players all combine to produce surprises. One member picked each home team in order to get into the swing of things.
2. Two Surge to the Front. Mother of Cats and Pops had identifcal 12-4, 14 point weeks. Peterborough, Deland and Sanford are one point behind.
3. Pick of the Week. The POW goes to Diane, who was the only league member to pick the Cardinals over the 49ers. Superior research here. The Cards have beaten the 49ers 4 or their last 5 meetings. 5 of 6 now.
4. Clean Sweeps. Three teams won both every league pick and their game. The Ravens, the Pats and the Bills all won.
5. Pats Change. In the past, the Go-Zone supported the Pats and called to account members who picked against them. Given the massive change this year, members are free to pick against the Pats without fear of reprisals. heh, heh, heh.
Link Problems
SurveyMonkey has changed its protocol for linking text, and I cannot figure out why it isn't working. So, a couple of work arounds:
- Cut and paste the url into your browser. This should result in sending you to the Monkey or a page saying it will open in new page.
- By clicking on the link, then clicking on the url which appears below the text, it should send you to a reroute page which will open the picks list.
I am currently working on figuring this all out, and hopefully I will not Omaha this thing up.
Sunday, September 13, 2020
Thursday, September 10, 2020
Gonna be a long season...
Sheesh, they haven't even kicked off yet, and Guido has already violated his rehab dismissal conditions.
Put the bottle down, Guido.
Omaha
Nervous Nancies
Will all you Nervous Nancies please settle down. Really, what has got your panties in a twist? The fact that the weekly picks chart came out exactly on time? Oh, boo hoo hoo.
I have to tell you, I am straight from rehab, and it doesn't feel good. I can't, and won't, take much of your crying and drama queening before I quit and take the GoZone with me. Let's see how you all do without me. Hah! The only thing Deland and Omaha can do well is complain and fret. "Oh no, it's Monday and there is no picks list. Oh no, I may have to kill myself." Well I say go ahead. No one would miss you anyway. The damn list doesn't come out until Tuesday, you numbskulls.
It has been a rough summer, and if it wasn't for our saintly Leader, the Commish, I would still be in rehab and you all would be weeping in your beer trying to figure out how on earth you will be able to place your picks. Well, guess what ladies, this is my last rodeo. That's right. I am leaving after this season and you will have to find another loser and sucker to make up your precious picks list, because I won't and the Commish can't.
Now, just so there is no bellyaching and cramps from you sad excuses of a league, let it be known that picks are due 1 hour before game time. That's right, so stop crying and get the picks in because I have a busy schedule and can't wait all day for you gals to make your picks.
Deland, I hope your next pedicure doesn't make you cry again. Omaha, I assume Big Red is making you get enough sleep. The next time you see me, you better run. You have stabbed the Commish in the back one time too many.
Monday, September 7, 2020
Silence is golden, golden
Well, apparently the Deland-Omaha connection struck some sort of nerve at the home office producing the survey monkey for week 1. The Commish’s silence eerily resembles Putin’s silence to the poisoning! Not a word, just a here you go, here’s the link! Self-appointed for life—what have we created! He takes a healthy salary and yet seems to have discarded the league to a sub-class level. Omaha, this calls for an immediate investigation of what the hell is going on in Ft Myers. Also, thanks for all the non-responses in support of waking up the Commish!
Best to all
Deland
Chairman, Oversight Conmittee
Sunday, September 6, 2020
Guido
I assume the rest of you have received Deland's post today about the missing Guido.
As the Chief of Investigations, I have spent most of today trying to track Guido down. After an exhaustive search and at considerable cost, I have managed to determine his whereabouts.
Our Commish has tried to avoid any mention of Guido during this off-season, hiding behind some restriction on revealing personal info about Go Zone employees. Only after I reminded our Commish that I am also the Director of Human Resources and the Vice President of Quality Control did our Commish relent and come clean.
Guido is in rehab. As I have long suspected, Guido has an ongoing issue of drug and alcohol abuse. He has been in self-denial and often fails to show up for his rehab classes. Consequently, I had to demand our Commish commit Guido to a secure facility that will conduct and supervise Guido's therapy.
I also had to remind our Commish that the NFL begins its season this coming Thursday. He has assured me that he is prepared for the upcoming season, and my fingers are crossed that he's telling me the truth. It will be most difficult to hire a replacement for Guido at this late date, so we may have to settle with the Commish actually doing his job.
Omaha
Chief of Investigations
What is going on?
Apparently Guido has not been re-signed and has been put on waivers by the all-time Commish! 9/10 starts the season and no word from the league office. This is not the first time the office has gone on a silent hiatus! League owners rise up and demand to know the league status! This is borderline criminal! Omaha, cross the aisle and confront this issue in Ft Myers. Amy, go on a fact-finding mission. Judy, agree with your brother for once. Luke and Marcus, find your father! Patrick, call your uncle! The Commish has dealt a new meaning to the word remote! Diane, send a nasty note! Come on owners, fan-less season about to start! Ryan, do something! Nick, get out of bed! Big Red, make some sense of all of this! Ed, take charge!
Humbly,
Deland
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)