League Owners,
An emergency meeting is in order to initiate yet another investigation as to who appointed or anointed Omaha As VP of anything much less Stats and Records. Surely the Commish and The Ghost can attest to Omaha single-handedly padding the stats of his players in the All-Star spinner baseball game played summers at Uncanoonuc! One harmless little miscalculation by Guido’s assistant and Omaha shamelessly berates the poor underworked and overpaid Commish! It has become quite evident that Omaha is out to overthrow the league dictatorship located in Ft. Myers FL. Do not let this happen! No more pencils or calculators shipped to Nebraska please! Where the hell is Guido when you need him! Oh, I forgot, he is on a slow train to nowhere collecting league dues for 2021. Big Red has offered to lead the investigation and I know she will stay close to the situation.
Best to all,
Deland
