To: Go Zone Football League Members
From: Guido Gonzales, IT Director, Go Zone Football League
Re: League Integrity Concerns
Last night's results show an interesting sweep of winning picks from the Deland coterie. In fact, and suspiciously, The Duke of Deland, his wife, the Boss and his son Sanford, all pick the winning Chargers, despite the Chargers pathetic record and losing stats. The rest of the league picked the red hot Broncos, steady winners with their first string quarterback returning.
Very suspicious indeed.
Many league members have contacted our revered leader, The Commish, complaining about the easy success of these "members." The suspicious thing is the rumor that Deland and his co-conspirators have a connection to the "Deland Gang" a despicable group of thugs, criminals and corrupted public officials. The allegations are that the Deland Gang has been giving Deland, the Boss and Sanford the winning picks.
They are crooks, there is no doubt about this. Believe me, they are crooks. And such people should not be allowed to pollute the pristine and ideal atmosphere our esteemed leader has created for the Go Zone.
Our sources say that every game in the NFL is fixed by organized crime and people with access to organized crime individuals can, providing a little encouragement, get the results well before any ball is hiked for every week. There is a vast criminal conspiracy emanating from the casinos of Los Vegas to fix every NFL game for the profits reaped from bettors who are naive and believe that the games are not rigged, who believe that ugly corruption has by-passed the NFL, and who think Santa will bring them nice gifts if they are good.
It is all fixed, many people say, and last night's "winners" have no logic or sense to their startling picks. It is all rigged, and Deland, his wife and his son suspiciously seem to be able to "predict" the startling and unrealistic Thursday night results.
The Commish has promised me an investigation, but no investigation will ever plumb the depths of the guilt of these horrible people. I myself will be making an exhaustive study of every week since the beginning of the league and promise to present startling and incontrovertible proof of their perfidy and betrayal of the league, of the ideal of the Go Zone Football League, and of America.
Guido Gonzales
IT Director, The Go Zone Football League
