Thursday, January 20, 2011

Commissioner's Report on the Apocalypse

Kevin Back in the Lead. Kevin surged back into the points lead with 125 points, followed closely by the Commish with 124, Sean with 122 and Bran and Ryan with 120.  Jo has 119, Wayne and Marc 118, Kate 114, Ed 113 and Luke 112. Coin Toss has 87.

Playoff Casualties. Wayne and Bran and Ryan are both 3-5 in the playoffs and it has hurt their chances overall, although each were close at the end of the regular season. Kind of like the Pats and the Falcons.

The Commissioner's Health. The Commissioner took the Pats lost badly, falling into clinical depression. He got hammered Sunday during and after the game, slept until noon on Monday, got up for some coffee, then went back to bed. He slept until 5, got up for a nightcap, then went back to bed. On Tuesday he was able to stay awake for 8 hours before going back to bed at 5:30 in the evening. On doctor orders, he has not read any reports of the game, viewed any sports channels, or listened to any discussion of the game. Doctors feel he will need a month or so before he can get back to his regular daily routine. Until then, owners are requested to refrain from mentioning anything about the game, the Patriots or the J****.  He has also changed his answer machine welcome to "I don't want to talk about it."

Ed Has an Epiphany. Owner Ed was communicating with the Commissioner recently when he complained that something called the "GO Zone" was flooding him with email and it took him a long time to erase them all. The Commissioner informed him that the Go Zone was the official blog of the owners' league. After a long silence he said, "Oh." He then claimed he would attempt to join the blog, but may need some help, which the Commissioner's office provides. However, he has not communicated since then, so who knows. Wayne has also indicated he will make another attempt at joining. Neither Marc nor Luke have attempted to, but then again neither ever checks his email or empties his voice mailbox.