Although very busy with multiple investigations, I have determined that indeed there is a professional gambler in our midst. I do not have a name as yet, however I know for sure that the heinous individual is a woman.
The next phase of the investigation is to vet each and every female in the league, a task for which I am highly qualified. I will report back with more information soon. In the meantime, every league member should respond quickly and honestly to any questions I might ask them. Remember, you are all under oath and perjury is a sad and bigly disgusting thing.
